The phantom of the opera crossover, at Hogwarts
by FluffyFluff
Summary: Eric goes to Hogwarts looking for a new singer after christine leaves. Now he must face dancing death eaters, an insensitive Edward, and worst of all, inspiring Boudilaires!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I dont own any of the characters or anything else (exept Fluffy FluffXD) and the idea. Im NOT making any money off this and it's purely a hobbie. If you have any questions or suggestions, feel free to mail me or review. I'm on at LEAST once a week. Also, I make fun of certain lines from movies , especially Xmen, it might be a little confusing if you didn't know that. Enjoy!

Eric sat in his underground chamber alone. Christine, his one and only true love had left him for a mindless, stupid, booby and swore never to sing his music again. All Eric had now was his only friend. Yes, the only one that had always been there for him, his monkey box. as Eric was wallowing in his deppresion, and listening to masquerade play from the box over and over, he thought to himself, what do I like better, Christine, who betrayed me, or Bob, the monkey box? Christine, who turned away from me after seeing my face, or my music, the music of the night.

Suddenly, Eric's thoughts were interupted by a loud banging on his door. He knew his secret, underground hiding place was now discovered. so he got up, grabbed his monkey box and a copy of don whon triumphant, and fled out into the night, not knowing where he would go next.

Eric decided to go to england where, maybe, people would appreciate his music and performances. First he would have to get a new hideout, or somewhere where he could study his music in peace. So he went to the train station. All of a sudden a song came to him. he was so lost in his thoughts that he diddn't even notice that he was walking strait into a wall. the wall between platform 9 and 10. All of a sudden Eric looked up to find himself in a very strange and mysterious place. There were crazy people walking around with colorfull robes and pointed hats! Eric went up to the first person he saw who looked somewhat sane. He was a blond fellow, wearing plain black robes and he was carrying a staff shaped like a snake. His long hair was pulled back neatly and fastened with a black bow. Yes, it was, in fact, Lucious malfoy.


	2. hogwarts

Eric walked up to him and said," Excuse me sir, can you tell me where the hell I am!" Lucious was very surprised to have someone actually come up to him and randomly start talking. Usually people didn't talk to him unless they absolutely had to. He turned to face Eric and said," Well you are in Diagon Alley, (obviously)." Eric stared at him blankly. Lucious was astonished. Who didn't know diagon alley?! ,"you know, this is where all the kids who go to Hogwarts get their school supplies." "What's Hogwarts?" replied Eric. Lucious was getting irritated now. "Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry!" he snapped before dissaperating himself to Nocturn alley.

Eric was stunned and confused but after a few minutes his genius mind worked it all out. Perfect, he thought to himself, Hogwarts seems like a great place to find my new singer. I'm sure if I had someone with magic taking Christine's place things might work out differently. So Eric began his search for a new singer, starting at Hogwarts.

Eric soon found out that Dumbledore was the headmaster of Hogwarts. So he wrote him a letter.

Dear Dumbledore,

I would like to come to your school of witchcraft and wizardry, for I am in need of a singer, to help me share my music with the world. Due to my terrible disfigurement I can not accomplish this myself. I am a very good teacher and I would very much appreciate it if I could come to your school and try to find my next apprentice. If I don't hear back from you, I will be coming Monday to have the auditions.

Sincerely, your most humble servant, O.G

Dumbledore read the Eric's letter and decided that Hogwarts could have a music teacher. So he wrote back to Eric.

Dear O.G,

Yes, you can come to the school. I will tell the students that the auditions will be on Monday the 14th of this month. Also you should know that this year I made Hogwarts school not only of witchcraft and wizardry, but for all people of magical talent. I will be looking forward to seeing you.

Sincerely, professor Dumbledore

P.S the directions to the school are on the back of this letter.

So the next day, Eric followed Dumbledore's directions to what looked to him like an old broken down shack. But he went inside anyway to find to his amazement, the inside was a castle! He looked around at all the students and a lot of them were staring at him curiously. This annoyed Eric. They're probably wondering about my mask. He thought angrily. Then a very queer looking blond girl came up to him. She had a dreamy expression and said in a distant voice," Are you our new defense against the dark arts teacher?" The girl was wearing very odd earrings that resembled radishes and a necklace made out of what looked like beer bottle caps. Oh my god she's drunk! Thought Eric. So he just shrugged and walked away as fast as he could.


	3. auditions and Edward

Eric was wondering if he should ask someone where Dumbledore's office was when he noticed a dark tabby cat was coming strait towards him. Eric turned and ran away in terror. ,"I HATE cats and I'm allergic to them!" He cried. So he was quite embarrassed and frightened when the cat suddenly changed into a strict looking elderly woman who said with a smug expression," I am Professor Minerva McGonagall. Come with me and I'll show you to the headmaster's office." Eric instantly took a great disliking to this cat lady, but he followed her to Dumbledore's office.

Dumbledore then showed Eric to the great hall where the auditions would be held. it was set up with a stage and a chair and desk in front of it. Behind the chair all the students were seated at their house tables.

"Up first is Mr. Edward Cullen" said professor McGonagall. A brown haired boy of about seventeen got out of his seat and walked up on to the stage. He was very pale and very good looking, despite his tired circles under his eyes. Eric was surprised to see that they were a dark gold color. ,"I would like to dedicate this song to Bella" Edward said. "I will be singing All I Ask of you from the phantom of the opera." Eric stood up furious. Edward looked at the judge and gasped as he realized, much to his embarrassment, that it was in act, the phantom himself. The great hall roared with laughter. ," Nooooo! Nobody will be singing that song! You are such an insensitive person!" Eric said, glaring at Edward. Edward, who was still too embarrassed and flustered to be angry, just walked off stage muttering and sat back down in the audience.


	4. Elizabeth's audition

Eric sat down slowly and called,"Next!" "The next contestant shall be Ms. Elizabeth Swan." said professor McGonagall as Elizabeth walked up on stage.

."I would like to dedicate this song to Will turner" She waved at Will who was sitting in the audience in a bucket of sea water. "I will be singing where your heart by Kelly Clarkson." Several people in the audience held their ears including Jack sparrow and a few other people who had heard elizabeth sing before. "Where is your HEART cause I don't really feel you..." Began Elizabeth in her most high pitched and loudest singing voice. Eric was horrified. He sat there with his mouth gaping open for a few seconds before yelling" STOP!" Elizabeth stopped, looking offended, and stormed off stage with a "humph!"


	5. insperations

"Next will be Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire." said professor McGonagall as the three Baudelaires shuffled nervously up onto the stage. After a short silence violet suddenly cleared her throat,"um, we will be singing a song that I hope will, um, inspire you all. Sunny won't be singing, because she can't talk, and umm..." "Oh just get on with it." Eric said impatiently. "Always look on the bright side of life." The Baudelaires began." "always look on the bright side of life." The Baudelaires now had their hands up in the air and were swaying them to the beat of the song. "Always look on the...GA!" sunny suddenly shouted which probably meant something along the lines of,"Who's that weirdo guy down there and why is he holding that creepy monkey box?" Violet quickly put her hand over Sunny's mouth before starting again," Always look on the bright side of life, always..." "WAIT!" Eric suddenly shouted,"Are those the only words in the entire song?" The Baudelaires nodded and shyly shuffled themselves off the stage.


	6. eragon's audition

"Next will be Mr. Era..." But before professor McGonagall could finish there was a huge CRASH as Eragon Came bounding dramatically onto the stage." I believe I can FLY!" Eragon had now begun to leap back and forth across stage flapping his arms wildly." I believe I can touch the sky" "I believe I can SOAR! See me soaring through that open DOOR!" Eragon was now running, full speed, towards the door of the great hall and BANG!! Unfortunately for Eragon, the door wasn't open. "Saphira! I did something stupid! Arya, help!" He then started to stagger around the room before throwing himself onto the floor, laughing hysterically. If you were to look to the back of the audience you might be able to see Arya sink low into her seat, hoping not to be seen. Saphira was nowhere to be found.


	7. You know who

"Next" Eric called warily. He was getting really fed up with all these disastrous auditions. "Its as if the dark lord himself were here, cursing all of the contestants!" professor McGonagall exclaimed when all of a sudden there was a deafening cracking sound, followed by an explosion. The smoke cleared to reveal the dark lord Voldemort with about a dozen death eaters around him. The Great hall exploded in chaos. Everybody was screaming, running around, crying, or hiding under chairs, desks (or in Ron's case, a lampshade). Everyone was panicking, except for Eric, who had no idea who these people were. Eric then stomped over to where Voldemort was, looked him strait in the eye, and began shouting," WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! DISTURBING MY AUDITIONS! DAMN YOU! CURSE YOU! YOU LITTLE LYING DELILA!" and on he went into one of his temper tantrums that usually occurs with the removal of his mask.

,"Peace, servant!" Voldemort said after Eric stopped yelling. "We just want to perform a song. We have worked very hard." "Yes very hard!" The death eaters agreed. With that Voldemort and his death eaters walked up on stage. Electric guitar music started playing and red strobe lights streamed down onto stage and Voldemort began in his cruel high-pitched voice," Its close to midnight, and something evils lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. Cause this is THRILLER!" The death eaters and Voldemort had all started to do the thriller dance by putting their hands at the level of their eyes and curving their fingers into claw shapes and stomping back and forth across stage. "THRILLER night…" Voldemort continued this way until the song was over before fleeing out into the night, laughing evilly with his death eaters behind him.


	8. a very strange child

Eric let out a long, low whistle. "Okay, now that was really weird." Said an extremely freaked-out Harry potter from behind a stage curtain. "Next!" called Eric. "The next person to perform will be Rouge." Said professor McGonagall, still shaken. Rouge got up on stage and said nothing, just stood there glaring at everybody. "What will you be singing, rouge?" Eric asked after a few moments silence. "I don't know" Rouge said slowly in her New York accent. "You can call me Marie." "Okay Marie, what are you going to sing?!" Eric replied getting irritated. "My name is ROUGE!" Rouge said. "Alright now look here!" Eric exclaimed getting really annoyed. "Fine! I will be singing You cant touch this...Its NOT funny!!" Rouge screamed at the laughing audience. Eric had now lost his Patience. "JUST SING THE DUMB SONG ALREADY!!" Rouge glared down at Eric ,"Are you goin to kill me?" She asked in the slow voice. "what?!" exclaimed Eric."me, kill somebody, well, I, um, oh never mind just get on with the song!" Rouge then started bobbing her head up and down and took off one glove and began snapping her fingers. "You cant touch this ner ner ner ner you cant touch this...STOP LAUGHING AT ME! Wolverine make them stop!" She wailed. "Okay this audition is OVER!" Eric finally interrupted," Next!"

Please reveiw. I'm open to suggestions for the next auditioners. Yes, I am willing to kill Hannah Montana, and the Jonas brothers!! Should I put Indiana Jones in this, or would that be too wierd? Again, PLEASE reveiw!


	9. Hannah

After Rouge's rather quirky audition was over, something terrible happened...

The room went dead silent with horror as the next contestent approached the stage. it was something big, hairy, slobbery, and utterly horrifying in every way imaginable.

It was Hannah Montana! Gasp!

Gasps of terror could be heard throughout the room. Edward screamed, Professor McGonnigal's pursed her lips, Harry fainted. Eric almost fainted also, when the slobbery slimeball opened her mouth.

"Um... Hi there everyone, I would introduce mythelf, but I don't think that would be nethethary because, like, you probably already know who I am." Hannah said.

silence

"Umm, hello, what's wrong with you people? I'm here for my audition." She said climbing up onto the stage.

Harry regained contentiousness and began booing, soon the whole crowd joined in, except for Bella, who liked Hannah Montana's music.

"Alright, tho before I begin, I wanted to let you guys in on a little thecret of mine, prepare to be shocked..." Hannah spun around and took off her blond wig. Several moths came flying out and hit Eric in the face. Several dozen fleas, lice, and a maggot started to crawl down her face and leap off her head into the crowd.

Hannah pointed to herself with both hands," I'm Miley! Hehehehe... Can you believe it? Little, unpopular me leads a double life as a famouth, glamorouth pop star! I'm Hannah Montanah, and I've got the best of both worlds!

Hermione made a disgusted noise and killed a flea that was jumping towards her, "Why don't you just get off the stage Hannah, your disturbing everyone! Think of poor Harry."

Hannah squinted down at rouge," Excuse me? Who do you think I am? Do you even know who you're talking too? Who do you think you are?"

Hermione glared back," A lot more pleasant than you!"

Hannah Montana squealed," You know what? I don't ever see _your _face on underwear at Wall-Mart. I am so much better than you. Daddy!"

"What? They seriously make underwear with your face on it?" Hermione sighed, "muggles."

"yeah! Don't believe me? Daddy!!!" Hannah screamed.

Hannah's father walked in, "Yes honey?"

"I want you to go to Wall-Mart and buy me some Hannah Montana underwear!"

"But sweetheart... where am I supposed to find a-"

"JUST DO IT!!!" Hannah demanded, beginning to cry.

Hannah's father ran out the door.

"Enough!" Professor McGonnigal finally said.

She turned to some seventh years,"Get her out of here."

As the seventh years rushed forward, Hannah farted and they both went flying back off the stage.

She began singing," You've got the BEST of both worlds-"

Right at that moment her father came bursting through the door," Don't worry honey! I've got your underwear! Here!" He flung the underpants toward the stage. Eric ducked and it flew past him right into Hannah's face.

It went right over her head and she began choking and gasping. Finally, she dropped and rolled off the stage.

The room was again silent as Filch limped up onto the stage and began dragging Hannah and her father off the stage.

* * *

Well, there you go! What did you think about Hannah's death? Death by underpants...

Just to make it clear, I have nothing against Miley Cyrus as a person. I don't know her personnally so it would be unfair to judge. This chapter is about the character Hannah Montana, nothing else is meant to come of this story. It's all in good humor:)


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